Yes, I'm still alive...I think

It's been a few days since my last post, and by reading my last post it's quite obvious that I've been up to my eye balls in diarrhea and diaper rash cream. I'm happy to report that things are finally looking up...regarding the 18 month old butt issues. As for my role of mom, the jury's still out.

I've decided that raising 3 kids is extremely more difficult than 2. I thought that once you had 2 it was all minor adjustments...whoever told me that lied. I don't know if it is just the ages/stages their at or the fact that I'm neurotic and losing control. I often find myself too exhausted to care that the toys are all over the family room or that I have a sink full of dishes. I strive to get my house picked up every night before bed so that my morning starts off on the right foot. As I said before, I'm losing control.

By the time everyone settles down for the evening and I take a few short moments to get online or watch some TV, I find myself fighting to stay awake. To make matters worse, I still (sometimes) have to get Paislee fed one last time before bed and then pump before I go to bed myself. Now mind you, I don't always have to do the last feeding before bed, my hubby does it sometimes to; however, I often find myself so aggrivated that he won't just do all the feedings just before bed...after all, I still have to pump. I know its not fair to him but it irritates me nontheless. If formula wasn't so expensive I'd switch immedialty, but then, I'd just have the guilt that I should've continued to pump for as long as I could.

I've also started to notice that I have trouble staying on track at work. I can't help but think about my kids all day long: what their doing, if they're fussy, if they miss me, etc. I believe becoming a mom of 3 has made me, in some way, a worse employee. I go to work because I have to. Yes, some days are good days at work but I'd still rather be home. My latest thought is a career in medical transcription. If anyone knows much about it I'd love to hear your thoughts. My main concern is that it would take too much time to do and earn enough money at. Is it something that can be done for a couple hours in the early morning before the kids get up and then again for a couple hours during nap time? Maybe some hours after the kids go to bed at night or some hours on the weekend. Is that do-able? I'd love to know.