New Year, New Me

It is that time of year again...but I'm not setting any resolutions, only making healthy life choices. I think resolutions can be over done sometimes. I'm not trying to start something that I've never done before, I'm just getting back in shape after having a baby and living a healthy life.

Sunday marked 4 weeks post-delivery and last night was my first visit to the gym. It is always hard to actually get myself to the gym but once I'm there it always feels so good! Although, hitting the new circuit machines after an 8+ month absence from the gym presented its own challenges...some of those machines are so hard to figure out...and I thoroughly enjoy looking like an idiot while trying to figure them out! By the time I got home my whole body ached and continued to ache until this morning.

To hold myself accountable I'm putting it all out there:
(per http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/ideal-healthy-weight)
Ideal Weight Range: 139-173 lbs BMI Range: 19.5-24.9
Weight: 160 lbs
BMI: 23
Waist; 34 in
Hips: 40.5 in
Thighs (R/L): 23.5/24 in

My goal is to lose 1% of my weight each week. If I can do this I will be at ~152 lbs (about 3 lbs lighter than my pre-baby weight) on Feb. 5th, my 30th birthday. I don't have an end goal weight that I'm going for; however, the 135-145 lbs range would be nice. But, muscle weighs more so we'll see. Here's the thing, the hubs tells me there are no more babies in my future and I'm turning 30 in a month. There's no time like the present to get in the best shape of your life...so this is my attempt at it.

My other "non-resolutions" are my redemption Go! STL half-marathon in April. It is a redemption race because last year sucked so bad...I'd like to remind you that I was pregnant during last year's race and didn't know it. Also on the list are the TriFAHL Sprint Triathlon in April, Bridge the Gap half-marathon in May, and my first full marathon (hopefully Chicago) in October.

Here's to 2012! May it bring you (and me) tremendous health and happiness!

A brief reflection of my feelings post-delivery...

Life as a mom is totally different for me these days. I'm not sure if it is due to being 3 years older and more mature than when my other kids were born or if it is from the natural, unmedicated delivery or even the fact that I'm nursing...but it is definitely different this time around. I feel like I care more (not that I didn't care before!), like I'm more patient with Hogan, like I'm more emotionally connected to him. It is a great feeling but makes me feel so bad that I didn't have this strong of a feeling with the others. It could also be that I know he's our last baby and I am trying to enjoy the whole experience of nurturing him. He's a really good and snuggly baby...so that probably has something to do with it too! I've always tried to avoid spoiling my babies because I'm a selfish mom. I really like and enjoy sleep and I want my kids to sleep on their own, in their own beds. I like to be able to get things done and not have to constantly hold/rock a baby...but it is getting hard with Hogan. I just want to hold and snuggle with him all I can, and he loves it. He loves me, I think I'm his fave, and it is an awesome feeling!

I must add an update to my previous post regarding my labor and delivery experience. Hogan's delivery, although it was super fast and exciting, was the most terrifying thing I had ever experienced (at the time). I can look back now and enjoy reliving it in my mind, but at the time I was completely terrified as it was so fast I couldn't even grasp what was going on, let alone prepare myself mentally for the natural process of childbirth that was taking place whether I wanted it to or not. I was not in control of anything that was taking place. I wasn't pushing on my own will, my body was pushing whether my mind was ready or not...it was crazy!

I also look back and laugh because I had tried to prepare myself as much as I could by reading my natural childbirth book and really trying to understand what emotions and thoughts I would have during this delivery. I wanted to make sure I could keep myself calm and take each contraction 1 at a time...needless to say, that didn't happen. I had taken honey sticks with me that I could eat throughout my labor if/when I needed more energy. I ate them after the delivery ;) I had also downloaded calming childbirth music to my iPod that I didn't get a chance to listen to. Poor Craig, I had questioned him periodically during the last weeks of my pregnancy, making sure he was ready and confident that he could "coach" me through the tough times...I didn't even have the chance to look over at him as my eyes where glued shut and my head was turned in the direction of the nurses...the poor "coach" was ignored!

Of course, being 4 weeks post-delivery, I have forgotten the pain (but remember the intense sense of being traumatized) and am thriving on the tremendous feeling of accomplishment!

Introducing, the studly, Hogan Eric Clark

Hogan Eric Clark made his grand arrival on Sunday, December 4th at 12:55am, and what a grand arrival it was. Sunday marked 40 weeks and 5 days gestation. There isn't a lot to say other than breaking down the timeline of the day for you.

We had decided that we'd go to Columbia to do some Christmas shopping (about an hour and a half away from home). We took the hospital bag with us and hit the road with Sully, the girls were staying with Grandma Sonya. I had been having contractions all morning but they didn't hurt and were relatively inconsistant. I had thought to myself that perhaps we shouldn't go shopping so far from home, but then I thought "What the hell. There are hospitals along the way if we need one."

We made it as far as Macon, about 30 mins away, and my contractions had continued even though I was just riding in the car. I decided we should stop and shop at Macon Walmart to see if the contractions would continue or stop. As we walked they continued but remained inconsistant. I made the executive decision that we should probably head back home just to be safe.

By the time we got back home it was about 3pm and the boys were tired. They napped while I continued to time my contractions. They had ranged from 5-15 mins apart. I was getting sleepy and figured I'd take a nap too. If it was real labor it would wake me up. Well, I later woke up to nothing...bummer. Craig was rather disappointed too. We headed out to supper with Sully and then on to pick up the girls from Grandma's house. My contractions slowly returned but were no more powerful or consistant than they had been all day. We arrived at the in-laws to find that Scotland had the flu....great!

We got her home, I gave her a bath and the other kids went to bed. We kept Scotland downstairs in the family room so she wouldn't be around the other 2. In between her sleeping and puking I continued to time my contractions...while remaining skeptical that labor was close.

Finally, around 10:30 or 11pm I was getting more uncomfortable and the contractions were getting a little more close. I woke up Craig and we discussed whether or not to wake up our parents to have them come sit with the kids. Here's where it gets crazy!...

~at 11:36pm I texted my mom asking if she'd want to come in just in case it was labor

~at 12:00am mom arrived and I was circling the house rather uncomfortably

~at 12:10am Craig and I were leaving the house for the hospital, the contractions were coming every few minutes and I had 3 on our short drive across town to the hospital

~by 12:30am we were settled in the delivery room and they were checking my dilation and monitoring my contractions, I was at 8 cm!

~shortly after the nursed checked me they left the room to call the doctor (he was called at 12:44am), they also told me I could stand up if I wanted

~I stood up beside the bed and got hit with 2 strong contactions on top of each other, just after the 2nd one my water broke...all over my feet

~the nurses returned from calling the doc, saw that my water had broken, and told me I could get back in the bed if I wanted...I was pretty tired for the 2 contractions that came back to back and didn't really know what I wanted and/or needed

~I got back in the bed and BAM, 2 more contractions...at this point my eyes were shut as tight as I could shut them, the nurses were scrambling to get everything ready as I started exclaiming that Dr. Early was not going to make it in time and I had to push. My body was pushing whether I wanted to push or not. This was the scariest thing in the world as I had no time to even comprehend how fast everything was happening. I was not in control of anything going on at this point and after ~3 pushes Hogan was out and into the world at 12:55am!!! Only 25 mins after getting to our room!

The 3 wonderful nurses delivered him. He had the cord loosely around his neck and body but was healthy otherwise. Just beating Dr. Early into the room, 3 residents from the ER rushed in with eyes bulging as I sat there on the bed with a smile on my face. Pointing over to the warmer I laughed, "You missed it, he's over there!" Poor guys, I can only imagine the sight they saw being burned into their minds forever. Right behind them was Dr. Early, just in time to deliver the placenta. I felt so bad that he missed it. The nurses asked if I had tried to wait as long as possible before coming to the hospital...and that wasn't the case at all. I had simply waited all day to know that I was definitely in labor, I didn't want to go only to be sent back home to wait...we're just lucky this little guys wasn't born in the car on the way there!

Here are 2 of the 3 nurses who delivered Hogan

Here is the 3rd nurse

Proud big sis Paislee and big bro Sully holding Hogan for the first time

Scotland holding Hogan for the first time...she had to wait for us to come home since she had been sick and couldn't visit the hospital

Dad and Hogan taking a nap

I've made it to my due date, now what?

November 29, 2011 I made it! Now I'm not sure how to feel. The last month of this pregnancy, my last pregnancy, has been a roller coaster. I've felt good, I've been tired. I've been anxious, impatient and nervous. I never thought I'd see my due date while still being pregnant. I just new I would deliver early. This is my 4th baby...why wouldn't I go early just like the other 3???

As my due date has gotten closer and closer I've gotten more and more nervous for this natural childbirth that I've raved about for the last 20+ weeks. The last week I have been worn out and this has made me nervous that I wouldn't have the will power and stamina to stick to my guns and work through an unmedicated birth. Lucky for me, today I feel FANTASTIC! Let's go back to yesterday, shall we...

Yesterday I went ahead and started my maternity leave. I had my 40 week check up, was only a day away from my due date and didn't really have anything to lose. At my 40 week appointment, although I was only 39 weeks 6 days the doc could stretch me to 4 cm, also equal to the cracker a few pics below (meaning I wasn't fully dilated to 4 cm but by stretching my cervix while checking me I could reach 4 cm), and 80% effaced. He went ahead and stripped my membranes (meaning he stirred things up hoping I would progress a little faster). He did this without asking me if I wanted it done and I'm glad he did. I was wavering back and forth on whether I wanted to stir the pot or let it play out on its own. Then I headed to Walmart to shop/walk myself along. I should also mention that Sunday night I was up timing contractions until 2am. I got very little sleep which lead to a really crappy Monday evening. My back was aching, I was exhausted, and I was not feeling too positive that I would make it through an unmedicated childbirth if things had progressed like I just knew they would. I didn't have contractions the rest of the day Monday but was uncomfortable with back aches and fatigue. I lounged on the couch until I eventually fell asleep and the hubs woke me up to go to bed at 10:15pm. I assumed I would wake up in the middle of the night to time contractions again, and hoped that I would feel better when this all set in. Instead, I woke up when my alarm went off this morning...still pregnant!

I got the kids on the bus, the hubs left for work, I showered, started laundry and sulked while watching TV because I felt perfectly normal and fine...no contractions or back aches. After a couple of hours of being crabby and down for feeling normal my mood picked up. I now feel great, wonderful, cheery and all around pleasant. I'm rocking out to my playlist of favorites while updating my blog and eating hotdogs for lunch. Before long I'll head out to the wonderful world that is Walmart, to walk myself into labor, HOPEFULLY! If I can keep up this fantastic mood I'm in while successfully starting my labor I will be pumped to face unmedicated childbirth head-on!!! What do you think ladies, could this be the calm before the storm???

Here's to a wonderful due date!

P.S. I'd like to note that, so far, I've gained the least amount of weight with this pregnancy...~25lbs!

A day to be thankful for...

Although I am very thankful for many many things, my family, our health, our safety, and all the blessings God had provided us, I would be so extremely thankful to make the biggest spectacle I could at Thanksgiving dinner by having my water break or massive contractions set in right in the middle of it. I'm even setting myself up for such a challenge:

• I'm wearing un-natural looking green sparkly eyeliner for those "look I just had a baby" pics


• I'm leaving the house a disaster-dishes, clothes, toys everywhere, bed unmade


• I'm not taking the hospital bag with me


• And to put the icing on the cake I'm tempted to drive until the gas light comes on...there is nothing I hate more than the stress of "will I or won't I run out of gas?"

HERE GOES NOTHING!

Every pregnancy is different indeed

Here I sit, 39 weeks 1 day pregnant, never thinking I would have made it this far. I always thought each baby came earlier and faster...my babies have proven the opposite. My first was born at 38 weeks, my second at 38 weeks 1 day and my third at 38 weeks 3 days. Each labor and delivery was a tad bit longer than the previous too.

At this point I really have no idea when this baby will decide to make his appearance. After my check up Monday, when I found out he was finally engaged and I was at 2cm and 50% effaced, I really thought he was coming Tuesday or today (at the moment that only leaves 4 hours for him to arrive today still). Yesterday my hips and back hurt, so I of course thought that was the day. Today I've felt nothing. No inclination that this baby will ever come out.

I'm also convinced of 2 things: 1) I am a quite habitable environment and 2) He can hear the outside world around him and is terrified to join this crazy clan we call our family!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving...of course there's been a million and a half people say, "oh, you may have a Thanksgiving baby!" Yea, great, wonderful, I could care less. I don't care what his birthday is, as long as it comes soon!

Weekly Update

I'm still fat. I'm 38 weeks 1 day today. I've progressed only slightly in the way of my cervix thinning. I'm trying to remind myself that I have to thin before I can dilate. I was really hoping for more though. I was also shocked to find that I had lost 2 lbs since last week. The way I see it, that is less work I'll have to do after the baby arrives. Although, I ate A LOT of chocolate yesterday and very likely gained it right back.

Every day is a struggle to not be overly impatient. I'm an extremely impatient person in general. I like plans. I like to know when things are going to happen and how they are going to happen. This is driving me nuts! I am fully aware that Mr. Hogan will grace us with his presence when he is ready...and I'm trying to be ok with that. I really thought I would have had him by today...but who knows, perhaps today is the day!

Today is my Gpa Dub's birthday, tomorrow is our dear friend Josh's birthday, next Wednesday is my Uncle Monte's and Great-Uncle Jim's birthdays, next Thursday is my dear friend Kristin's birthday, then there's always Thanksgiving.

I don't even know what else I can say at this point. I'm due in 13 days. I assume I could go any day now. Sometimes the baby is very still and sometimes he is kicking a lot. Sometimes I am exhausted and sometimes I feel great. I nested this weekend and got my whole house clean and laundry caught back up. Yesterday my face kept getting hot...not like a hot flash but just a flushed feeling. One of the med students I work with said it was because I was vasodilating. He predicted the baby wasn't coming yesterday but soon. I just pray I don't go over...I don't think my sanity could take it...