Come to Jesus

For those of you, the very few I know, who have been following my blog over the last couple of years that I've had it you will notice another change of purpose. My blog has gone from a blog about my life to a blog about working out and back to a blog about my life. While I will still discuss my workouts I will mainly be telling you all about my life...each and every aspect of it. It will serve the purpose of allowing me to vent my frustrations while keeping me on task with the changes in my life and hopefully even inspiring a few of you.

What a wonderful week I have had. There were ups and downs, stress and relaxation, smiles and tears. I have really begun to find myself and prioritize the different facets of my life.

Being the busy-body that I am I have always put many things on my plate at a time. It wasn't until recently that I truly realized why I did this. I have been unhappy. Even though I have a terrific husband and 3 wonderful children, all of whom love and adore me, I was unhappy. I was stressed, carried everything with me and eventually brought it all home with me every night. Then, I was nice enough to spread the wealth of my unhappiness among everyone in my house...every single night. I could bring down the joy of my house within moments of walking through the door. Instantly we would all be tired, grouchy and miserable. Not.Any.More!

I had a "Come to Jesus" epiphany...it just hit me all of a sudden. All the things I had been doing to make myself a more positive and happy person weren't working. I needed faith. I texted my husband that I thought I needed to schedule a time to talk with our Pastor one-on-one. He thought that sounded like a good idea. I got on our church's new website and while snooping around found this message from Pastor.

Christians know that we are not to fall into the trap of Martha. Martha worked hard but found no peace. She toiled but didn't grow closer to her faith. She filled her life with busy work but not with the one thing that she needed - God's Word. Christians today often get caught by the trap of searching for life-meaning in the things of this world, careers, families, hobbies, accomplishments. Many of these things are 'good' things to invest in. But they are not the one thing that is needed. They only leave a person empty and fatigued.

This is the story of my life...I couldn't believe how spot-on this message was! You may call me Martha!

Wow! This message was just the slap in the face that I needed. It confirmed that I NEEDED to talk with Pastor. I NEEDED to get on the right track with my life. I NEEDED to get my crap together and start enjoying my life. I emailed Pastor and voiced my concerns about:

~Stress and dealing with it
~My endless negativism
~My lack of understanding my faith
~Where do I begin, how do I get my crap in order?

I met with Pastor, shed some tears and now know what I need to do. I am clearing my plate of obligations. These obligations that I thought or hoped would bring me joy were only causing more stress. Pastor explained that although all the extras I was trying to manage were good things and helping others, I wasn't necessarily living my life the way God wanted. God wants us to rest and life in joy, and I wasn't. Although we rest and enjoy our weekends, man we love our weekends, I need more rest. My goal is to find a time during the week that I can rest. It is the week that stresses me. It is the hustle and bustle of work, school (kids not mine), house, bills, etc. that brings me down into my funk. By resting during the week I can survive until the weekend and enjoy my next period of rest.

My discussion also allowed me to fully realize God's purpose for my life, and although I can't drop everything to do it to the full extent right now perhaps someday I will. Until then I will attempt to be the best manager of the few obligations I have. I will also learn to leave "it" at the door and pray for guidance and strength. Also, I found an audiobook of The Bible on iTunes for only $10. This will be the first part of the education and understanding of my faith.

I am now able to feel empowered, relaxed, and enlightened. I know this is going to allow me to be the better wife and mom that I mentioned in my "Resolution" post. I am so excited!